I want to be so mad at you 2020!
You know why!!!!

But every time I try, I just stand here stunned. In disbelief. In deep awareness.

My heart. It’s breaking. I can’t unsee the pain. I can’t push aside what’s happened, what’s happening.

And yet, within, there’s alignment with the deep dive, the journey –

because of the PAUSE.

because of the unrest.

because of the battles.

because of the division.

because of the burning.

It erupted … you called me in.

I want to be pissed, but how can I when the heartbreak is truly my heart breaking open.

And I know I’ve spent far too long being angry about all the wrongs in life … in my life.

I took action.
I was patient.
Good things come to those who wait?
I just wanted it to be easier to be me.

but I had to heal. no, really heal. You knew that!

So I could step fully into this life. Not sort of “in,” with a half ass pinky promise. “Sure I’ll do this thing, god, but let’s make it snappy so I can get the fuck out of here.”

Yeah, that.

2020, You have brought IT for so many reasons, and you’ve also provided the most profound awakening to my personal strength and power. I don’t recognize this woman in the mirror. And that’s a good thing.

I’m coming to see my place in the perceived shit show and I’m grateful for the pain, release, healing, clearing and growth.

I’m all in. 💕