In September 2016, my business and life changed when I allowed myself to accept my truth.
My life was on track. I’d opened a business with a friend, I was building my coaching business on the side and I’d hired a book coach so I could finally write and publish my first book.
Despite all the good, I was sitting in meditation one morning and tears began to pool in my eyes. Slowly, one by one, they fell down my cheeks.
I didn’t know I was sad. I didn’t feel the heaviness in my heart until that moment. There was amazing things happening in my life, it was easy for me to stay disconnected from my truth.
I paused. I became curious and softly asked, “What is this?”
I heard a voice whisper, “Your marriage”. My heart sank.
For a long time, I couldn’t get clarity on how I truly felt. Sometimes we felt good, other times we didn’t. Because my feelings wavered, I didn’t trust them.
In that moment, I opened my eyes and wrote the following journal entry:
“Do married people think about walking away if they’re happy and in the right relationship?
If you think about walking away from your marriage even though you love the person, but you feel like you may have outgrown the relationship and you’re actually trying to make your partner into something he’s not, have you answered your own question?
There’s something missing, and where I am now doesn’t fit. How can you feel fear, love, and tears streaming down your face all at the same time as having a true deep inner knowing that something has to change?⠀⠀
What do you do when, in your heart and soul, you know there is something more important than your fear of the unknown, being alone, the sadness?
Is it him? Is it me? Am I searching for something that doesn’t exist? Am I the problem?
We’ve manifested an incredible life, but I need more: connection, spirit, heart.
I have to start facing the feelings, my truth.
And that makes me cry, because I know I have to have the conversation, the one that opens the door to what’s next.”
Have you had a moment where you discovered a truth that scared you, but you knew you needed to listen anyway? I’d love to hear your story below too.