I’ve trained myself to find the good in everything.
Not because I’m ignoring the reality of what’s happening in challenging moments, but because there’s ALWAYS positives to be found … if I’m willing to open my heart and look.
I wasn’t always this way. I was the woman who was afraid to be happy. Always waiting for the other shoe to drop. Scared to completely allow people in, because they might hurt me.
I was pretty much in protection mode 24/7. Which meant I spent a lot of time validating my beliefs by seeing the negative in things.
That was a sucky way to live.
It took a man in NYC dying of AIDS to shift me for good.
He was sharing his story in an AA meeting back in the mid 90’s.
He didn’t have much longer to live.
But he was filled with love and gratitude.
Looking back, he was filled with light.
He was the wisest person I knew in that moment. I’m pretty sure he was channeling god. His words shot across the room on an arrow that went right into my heart. I was clinging to every word.
As I stood against the wall with tears in my eyes, he got through. My hard shell cracked. My heart opened.
That evening, I made a huge pivot.
I knew I was led to that meeting to hear him speak.
I made a promise to live my life the way he was living his final days – with gratitude.
I knew if he could do it with all he was facing, that I could also find the good in the hard, loss, challenging, heartbreak, and fear. I could find the good in my own situation of staying sober when my mom had died only 6 months earlier.
And I’ve worked to keep that promise to myself.
I’ll be honest, I don’t always get it right. I can still go down the rabbit hole, BUT I do my best not to have tea with the rabbit.
For me, finding the good is a way of life. I’m not ignoring the fact that there’s major shit happening, every day.
I see it. I feel it. I allow it to move through me. I ask for help. I reach out. I’m gentle with myself when things feel hard. I process and go within, as needed.
I acknowledge both sides.
And I shift.
I come back to center and connect to my heart.
I’m in a new community here in Ojai. It can feel isolating in the new, even without social distancing.
But one thing I know for sure is god directed me here last summer, because it was time to leave Mexico.
She sent me home.
And there’s NO place I’d rather be right now than in my home state of California.
I have friends around the globe that I love so much, but my heart is in California.
I’m exactly where I’m meant to be.
I know this. I’m grateful for that.
Yesterday a client asked me for my take on things so I got quiet and wrote this message to her.
She said it brought her peace so I’m sharing it here.
And it’s filled with good.
“This is ushering in a massive shift that’s been necessary for a very long time.
Not only is Mother Earth needing this pause to restore and breathe, but WE need to be brought together in this shared experience.
We can’t keep going the way we have. Pushing ourselves, disconnected from source, Gaia, ourselves, each other.
This is also giving us a pause.
There’s fear and that’s understandable and should be acknowledged with love and compassion. But not nurtured to grow.
There’s peace on the planet right now. I can tap in and feel her stillness. It’s truly amazing.
Emissions are down, waterways are clearing, energetically she is breathing a sigh of relief.
The virus is a catalyst for change. And remember chaos often happens right before the breakthrough.
This too shall pass.
We’re responsible right now for managing ourselves. That includes what you put out and what you put in. ♥️